Church Unexpected

Dads: The gatekeepers of the family

This January will mark 15 years in ministry for me. In that time there has been a constant principle that has caught my attention over and over again as I have ministered. It’s almost like the seatbelt warning on your car when you begin to drive without buckling up. You think you can ignore it but sooner or later it drives you crazy enough to click yourself into safety. The proverbial beeping I am referring to is tremendous responsibility associated with being a dad.

Most church planters spend their formative ministry years working with teenagers and I am no exception. Before I planted in March of 2009 I was a youth pastor at a Mega church in North Tampa which afforded me a snapshot into dynamics of the American family and my findings were staggering. I wasn’t engaged in any formal research but evidence was so clear that it has shaped how I pastor and lead the men in my fledgling church plant. Here are the top 3 trends that I noticed . . .

#1. The #1 factor for the spiritual condition of any home is the dad.
-being the head of the house physically and spiritually carries with it a huge responsibility and equally great fallout if that role is neglected or compromised.
-Sin issues, shame, guilt and self hatred are most often the ‘straight jackets’ the enemy uses to subdue the potential of fathers in the home.

#2. Following the breadcrumbs of rebellious teenagers almost always led me to a deadbeat dad.
-I had dozen’s of parents bring me their kids to ‘fix’ them and every time I could easily trace the issues back to the father’s neglect and spiritual emasculation.

#3. The #2 factor for the spiritual condition of any home is how unified dad is with his wife.
-Disunity in the parental landscape opens huge doors for spiritual shenanigans. The absence of mutual submission, love & communication creates a relational time-bomb that usually detonates in the behavior of the child who is always the victim.

-When mom & dad are not on the same page the result is usually kids that are out of control starving for consistent boundaries.

I don’t claim to understand spiritual authority, however there are some concrete principles that fathers could pursue to open the shutter lens of heaven’s light and get it shining in their homes.

#1. Wholehearted constant pursuit of the person of Jesus Christ.
-I know it sounds obvious but there are millions of men who call themselves “Christians” but rarely if ever bring their heart into one on one dialogue with the man Jesus. To do so requires honesty about sin and humility to confess it.

#2. Don’t blame the kids!!!
-Please, for the love of everything holy, don’t blame your kid’s bad behavior on them. That is an unacceptable cop-out. They are who you developed them into. Their character reflects the home environment that you provided. Man up and take responsibility for the situation and repent.

#3. Lay your life down for your wife!
-Jesus clearly instructed us to love our wives as He loved the church. Did you read the story? Did you get to the part where Jesus suffered for his bride? He was deliberately setting an example for us. Spiritual unity with your wife must be contended for daily.

I know this blog may be read by men from all different backgrounds and situations and you will be tempted to give some excuse as to why you are the exception. You are not!

When you had intercourse that resulted in a baby, you immediately signed up for this like it or not.

It is not too late.  No one has screwed  up their family beyond repair.  Open your heart to Jesus and begin to invite his power and influence in your life & home.  He can handle it.

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